Corset/Waist Training: Day 1 & 2

Waist Training Day 1 & 2

SO my new corset arrived last night, size 22, as my waist measures 26”. White and under bust. I’ll put some pictures up soon too.

Wore it for 2 hours last night and cried when it came off – so painful. Feels like being stabbed through the chest repeatedly with a rusty bread knife.

It’s fine when it first goes on then  after an hour it’s just agony.

This morning – back on again at 7.15am – meant to be on for four hours – it’s now 9.45 and I’ve already had to have it loosened in the car as I was crying again. I’m sat in it in the office but my hips feel bruised and blue – going numb –

Not sure how much longer I can keep it on really.... it hurts so much and I can’t work or anything.

I hope it gets better :(

Piercing Plans Completed!

Well as you will all remember, I blogged a few weeks ago about my Perverted Piercing Plans. Yesterday, on a lovely sunny day out with Mike, I had these done!

We travelled to the same lovely piercing and tattoo parlour that we used for Mike's nipples last time (I figured he never bled or had any pain, so I'd be fine) and I signed up for both the navel and the vertical clitoral hood piercings before I could change my mind.

True, a Monday morning after a late and hazy Sunday night may not have left me in the most rational, clear and sane frames of mind but nonetheless I'd wanted them done for a while. No time like the present.

And what a present they were! The lovely girl at Apus explained the procedures thoroughly to me and allowed me to choose the jewellery I wanted in each piercing. I chose a diamante titanium for my clit and a dark pink stone surrounded with gold coloured titanium for my belly-button. Pretty!

She took them through to the small clinical room and I was informed that the worst one would be done first, the clit. Reassuring! Removing my underwear, I laid on the bed. Nervously. Looking up, I saw a gap above the walls of the cubicle style room and knew that there was a crowd of people in the foyer, including Mike, waiting. I was determined not to make a screaming scene.

Showing me that the needles were sterile she warned I'd have to take a deep breath. Hang on don't they numb piercings- OUCH! - that hurt! She grabbed my clit hood firmly and stuck the needle straight through. The pain! Well that was the worst part over.

But then again... -OUCH!... - she had to attach the ball to the other side of the piercing and that absolutely killed. Right. All done there.

The navel one was wonderful, she was able to freeze and numb the area with a special spray. She explained (after the event, funnily enough) that they couldn't freeze genital ones and the spray would probably dissolve the skin. Lovely.

It was all in all quite a painful day yesterday. I was expecting the clit piercing to continue being the most painful but it was in fact the navel one that caused the most discomfort. Took hours to stop bleeding and even after three changes of clothes it still hurt when I moved. It's in just the right place to be disturbed when you bend in any way and the movement of the metal caused both fresh pain and bleeding.

By 7pm I was ready for bed. Mike took his leave from my house, after a full day of shopping, lunching, chatting... and I would have fallen into bed if it weren't for the metal and holes in various parts of me.

After bathing the clit with my rock salt wash and cleaning the navel one with the spray and cotton buds I was ready to turn in for the night. Trying to sleep on my back, unusually for me.

I do love my new piercings, I cannot wait to shop for more jewellery and of course take some pictures to show you lovely blog angels out there!

Day 2 of my new piercings today... wish me luck!

My Brief 'Dear Knob' Letters

This is a blog post inspired by the Dear John thread on the LoveHoney forums, I started to post this there but it is unfair to inflict such darkness to a happy place, I will retain it for my blog and those who choose to delve into my mind rather than having it thrust upon them.



To knob No 1 - Thanks for killing any of my self belief when I was a 15 year old naive and Christian child, too hidden from the world to really know anything of relationships. A ten years older man with odd cultural beliefs and in the medical profession was just what I needed between the ages of 15-18 obviously. Especially as you were such close friends with a paedophile and knew about it, not telling me and letting me take my little brother to his house so we could all watch dvds and you and he could get off on just being with us. Thanks for also keeping notes on my 'good' points and 'bad' points so that I never felt I really matched up to your expectations and standards, letting your brother refer to me merely as 'woman' and espescially thank you for controlling what I wore, who I was friends with, writing doctors notes so I didn't have to go to school/college and therefore didn't do as well as I possibly could have in my A-Levels particularly, using me to do all the chores, lying to my parents, beating me up then getting me to cover the bruises, leaving money on the side as 'pocket money'... yeah thanks. Eventually promising we would be together after 6 months while you got yourself together in South Africa, you eventually got the balls to call a week later and say you were actually in Canada and that I should wait 2 years for you. I took pleasure in finally summoning up strength to tell you to go rot in hell, from my new home in Ireland with a supportive girl and potential new male partner in the offing (yes I did run rel to rel), and taking £1,000 off you for the pleasure. Good riddance knob No 1.


To knob No 2 - your poetry and compassion after knob No 1 was refreshing, it felt like you really cared about me. However it became apparent in the two years we wasted together that you were nothing more than a manipulative evil man, who just liked having control over someone. Thank you (in no particular order) for beating me in broad daylight as well as in the house with that cane you carried which was for your so-called 'bad back', leading everyone to feel sorry for you and think I was complaining about nothing if I ever mentioned anything in the least negative. Thanks for forcing me back onto the stairs so I had bruises for a month up my spine. Thanks for holding me out face first from an upstairs window over a busy road while screaming into my ear what a bitch I was. Thanks for making me hide away in cupboards while your friends came round cos you didnt want me seeing how you were with other women or letting other people know you had a partner, or disturbing your immature 'lad' nights with James Bond, Lara Croft and various porn dvds/lad mags. Thanks for the random issues I have to this day which don't fit at all with the rest of my open-minded personality! Thanks for forcing me to wake every morning to a huge poster on the ceiling of a half naked woman, so the first thing burned into my eyes was the model of a perfect and sexy body which I at 18, obviously compared myself to daily and was crushed deeper into self hate. Thanks fornot bothering to visit when I was in hospital after the ODs and then locking me out when I returned. Thanks for making me sit on the doorstep all night on a number of occasions, crying so hard I regularly tore the muscles between my ribs. Thanks for eventually not believing me about the assault...


Which leads to knobs 3 & 4 - thanks for ripping from me any trace of innocence, so harshly so brutally, at the very time I finally believed I had some freedom with a basic till job, on an employee night out, which I was actually allowed to go on. Thanks for helping to kill any desire for men and any trust. Thanks for drugging me. Thanks for making it so I can still to this day remember every tiny detail despite the fact I say I can't. Thanks for gagging... holding... binding. Thanks for the control obsession I have.


To knob No 4 - Not really your fault. By this stage I was drugged, cut, suicidal, hazy, on anti psychotics and mind altering script drugs, addicted to 15 Xanax a day (yay for stupid doctors) supplemented by anti depressants. In and out of hospital and never without scars running up and down my body, neck, breasts, stomach, hips, thighs, arms. I didn't ever want you, I didn't find you attractive. I found you repulsive. Perhaps you were just there, perhaps I was afraid of sexual attraction.We married, I hated you, we never had sex, I kept my distance, I never had an orgasm during the years I was with you. I worked, I got off the tabs so my physical health at least was better, I left... we divorced. I hope you have a happier life.


A brief history of the longer of my relationships before I met my man. Comes across very 'victim' for which I apologise. I don't want pity or sympathy, I am much stronger now. I needed to let this out onto the world. The above is a summary, without my use and abuse of men, the club times, the payments, the women, the dark hazy druggy 'am I even alive?' times. These briefly mentioned details are the times that stand out as stepping stones to my feelings. You cut me and I bled to the world.


Thank you Lee for being my one.


I love Our song, which you dedicated to me, in your beautiful transparent, sincere, clarity and sometimes painful but always welcomed honesty.
 
I love you
 
xxx