My vibrator,
Which brings me heaven, Rabbit be thy name.
You make me cum,
You bring such fun.
On earth- or is it heaven? Give me this day my daily thrill,
And forgive me my screams as I forgive those who sell me flat batteries,
Lead me straight into temptation.
Deliver me from frustration.
For thine is the vibration, the power and rotation.
For ever and ever-
No men.
Men, I find it very odd that some of you have a problem with sex toys. Not a hatred for rubber or silicone; but more specifically a feeling of angst when they are brought into the bedroom by your lover.
What is it that is so intimidating about a moulded phallus made out of either a flexible material, or glass, or perhaps even inflatable? It could be the size. Maybe it is an underlying worry that your woman will prefer the toy, being seduced by its charming... ridges.
Many jokes abound in this world of liberal women, independent women, feminist women. Women who have felt their gender has been downtrodden and held back for centuries as the 'inferior' or weaker sex. Her indoors.
You may have heard some of them.
Why are vibrators better than men?
... Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
... Because a vibrator doesn't have an orgasm first and then just stop "vibrating."
... Because a vibrator won’t ask you if it’s bigger than all other vibrators you’ve had.
... Because you don’t have to worry where else it’s been.
... Because vibrators don’t expect you to swallow.
And of course the biggie...
If vibrators had a wallet and could fetch the drinks, we wouldn't need men anymore.
All of these and more, have been part of a rather successful attack launched on the male ego and the natural carnal source of their pride, their cock. Symbol of their masculinity, their manhood.
However, upon asking most women, they still do prefer the warmth, motion, throbbing and thrusting of a real cock. Men, you have no reason to worry, you still have the original and best!
The way I see it is, men have had their hand 'on the side' for years. This has been an accepted and 'normal' part of male life, relationships, sex etc as far back as we can see. Women have had to be grateful for any attention, sexually, from their man. Inbetween their wanking sessions!
Now, women have gained in this regard. We have sex toys as well as fingers. Female solo fun is no longer viewed as wrong, dirty, sinful. Men have a wank, well guess what? So do women. If you're not there in the afternoon when I fancy an orgasm, I don't have to wait to see if you will deign to 'give it to me' that night. I'll have a rifle through my toy box then a rifle through... well you know.
It isn't that men and women are ever going to be equal. Simply different. Not superior and inferior, merely having different interests, opinions and priorities in life. Men seem to focus on visual and physical sensations and pleasure. Women tend to require more mental stimulation and a scene setting, in order to gain maximum enjoyment in a sexual way.
I might not just want a huge hard dildo ramming up me, I may wish to tease myself (or be teased) with a remote Love Egg. Or maybe read (or share) some erotic fiction to get into the mood. How about a sensual massage or a bubble bath with luxurious bubbles, a glass of wine and some mellowing candles?
When it comes (!) to pleasure, we all get to our aim in different ways. It isn't right for anyone to feel intimidated by the novelties we either share with our partners, or use alone, to reach our peaks, mentally or physically. They are additions to what should already be a meeting of minds, emotions, bodies.
Next time your lovely lady wishes to use a vibrator to climax, whether on her own in the afternoon, or after you have already shot your load, or perhaps introduces a shared toy like a vibrating cock ring into the bedroom... don't be threatened.
Embrace this sign that she trusts you and wants you enough, to share ultimate pleasure with you. She wants to have sex with you, but at the same time is a sexually aware and confident woman not afraid to have her own set of demands, wants and needs. You wouldn't want her keeping secrets!
Lads may wish to keep banging one out with their hand (or use something even better like the Supersex stroker). They may also wish to note that their lady may just be doing the same thing, same time, different place, with their own choice of vibrator, dildo or clit bullet.
And why not, men? Why not.
Women want it all! We deserve it all. Real cock when it's ready, sex toys that are 'ever' ready.
Perfect.
This is a blog post inspired by the Dear John thread on the LoveHoney forums, I started to post this there but it is unfair to inflict such darkness to a happy place, I will retain it for my blog and those who choose to delve into my mind rather than having it thrust upon them.
To knob No 1 - Thanks for killing any of my self belief when I was a 15 year old naive and Christian child, too hidden from the world to really know anything of relationships. A ten years older man with odd cultural beliefs and in the medical profession was just what I needed between the ages of 15-18 obviously. Especially as you were such close friends with a paedophile and knew about it, not telling me and letting me take my little brother to his house so we could all watch dvds and you and he could get off on just being with us. Thanks for also keeping notes on my 'good' points and 'bad' points so that I never felt I really matched up to your expectations and standards, letting your brother refer to me merely as 'woman' and espescially thank you for controlling what I wore, who I was friends with, writing doctors notes so I didn't have to go to school/college and therefore didn't do as well as I possibly could have in my A-Levels particularly, using me to do all the chores, lying to my parents, beating me up then getting me to cover the bruises, leaving money on the side as 'pocket money'... yeah thanks. Eventually promising we would be together after 6 months while you got yourself together in South Africa, you eventually got the balls to call a week later and say you were actually in Canada and that I should wait 2 years for you. I took pleasure in finally summoning up strength to tell you to go rot in hell, from my new home in Ireland with a supportive girl and potential new male partner in the offing (yes I did run rel to rel), and taking £1,000 off you for the pleasure. Good riddance knob No 1.
To knob No 2 - your poetry and compassion after knob No 1 was refreshing, it felt like you really cared about me. However it became apparent in the two years we wasted together that you were nothing more than a manipulative evil man, who just liked having control over someone. Thank you (in no particular order) for beating me in broad daylight as well as in the house with that cane you carried which was for your so-called 'bad back', leading everyone to feel sorry for you and think I was complaining about nothing if I ever mentioned anything in the least negative. Thanks for forcing me back onto the stairs so I had bruises for a month up my spine. Thanks for holding me out face first from an upstairs window over a busy road while screaming into my ear what a bitch I was. Thanks for making me hide away in cupboards while your friends came round cos you didnt want me seeing how you were with other women or letting other people know you had a partner, or disturbing your immature 'lad' nights with James Bond, Lara Croft and various porn dvds/lad mags. Thanks for the random issues I have to this day which don't fit at all with the rest of my open-minded personality! Thanks for forcing me to wake every morning to a huge poster on the ceiling of a half naked woman, so the first thing burned into my eyes was the model of a perfect and sexy body which I at 18, obviously compared myself to daily and was crushed deeper into self hate. Thanks fornot bothering to visit when I was in hospital after the ODs and then locking me out when I returned. Thanks for making me sit on the doorstep all night on a number of occasions, crying so hard I regularly tore the muscles between my ribs. Thanks for eventually not believing me about the assault...
Which leads to knobs 3 & 4 - thanks for ripping from me any trace of innocence, so harshly so brutally, at the very time I finally believed I had some freedom with a basic till job, on an employee night out, which I was actually allowed to go on. Thanks for helping to kill any desire for men and any trust. Thanks for drugging me. Thanks for making it so I can still to this day remember every tiny detail despite the fact I say I can't. Thanks for gagging... holding... binding. Thanks for the control obsession I have.
To knob No 4 - Not really your fault. By this stage I was drugged, cut, suicidal, hazy, on anti psychotics and mind altering script drugs, addicted to 15 Xanax a day (yay for stupid doctors) supplemented by anti depressants. In and out of hospital and never without scars running up and down my body, neck, breasts, stomach, hips, thighs, arms. I didn't ever want you, I didn't find you attractive. I found you repulsive. Perhaps you were just there, perhaps I was afraid of sexual attraction.We married, I hated you, we never had sex, I kept my distance, I never had an orgasm during the years I was with you. I worked, I got off the tabs so my physical health at least was better, I left... we divorced. I hope you have a happier life.
A brief history of the longer of my relationships before I met my man. Comes across very 'victim' for which I apologise. I don't want pity or sympathy, I am much stronger now. I needed to let this out onto the world. The above is a summary, without my use and abuse of men, the club times, the payments, the women, the dark hazy druggy 'am I even alive?' times. These briefly mentioned details are the times that stand out as stepping stones to my feelings. You cut me and I bled to the world.
Thank you Lee for being my one.
I love Our song, which you dedicated to me, in your beautiful transparent, sincere, clarity and sometimes painful but always welcomed honesty.
I love you
xxx
I have pondered this question for a while now. Being 90% lesbian and 10% straight, I have for a long time thought I was bisexual. I think I find about 4 or 5 men in the entire world in any way remotely sexually attractive to me, but being a woman I of course preen, giggle and flirt along with the best of them.
My gorgeous, wonderful and let's face it - long suffering man is a revelation; kind, compassionate, unselfish. Perhaps not beautiful or handsome in the classic or media induced stereotypical way but he does have a rough manly exterior that belies the softness contained within his heart.
Will do anything for an audience, loves to please and entertain. Kind to a fault but will not take any mistreatment of either his family or himself. Not vain or pretentious. A hard worker and takes pride in setting himself goals in both his work and private life and having the ambition and courage to acheive them.
I have considered that he may be attractive to me merely as the father of my child; but in fact the truth is that I love him completely. For him, as a person, not his muscles (which are scrumptious ;) ), his six-pack, his Jason Statham looks or any rough, brutal, cave-man fun and games. Just the fact that he is the man I love. Him as a person.
Maybe I cannot be attracted to men without knowing of their personality and morality. Having been treated fairly harshly by the men in my life, family and sexual partners, I have been left with a deep mistrust of men and also an inability to believe there is such a thing as platonic friendship. They always seem to be out for more. Any friendly chat or inquiry into my life leaves me distinctly cold and feeling they want more from it, sexual satisfaction being their sole aim.
Perhaps this explains my slightly perverted attraction towards gay men. The ultimate safety. A man who will not pursue me into bed, but will instead only show interest and friendliness out of a sincere regard for me as a person. Someone with courage enough to be 'out' in a world which still shows insensitive attitudes towards homosexuality, for all its determined claims that we are all equal now. Perhaps some still are 'more equal than others', after all.
And so my life brings me to this conclusion: I feel more at ease in women's company if somewhat nervous that they will be able to hurt me if I put trust in them. An emotional hurt. I have been through the emotional pain with men (as well as physical, bearing the scars) and now have given my soul entirely to my man.
I feel free to lust after lesbian imagery, dreams, the emotional bond... feeling that this is where any future fantasy will now lie. Perhaps there are other men out there that I could feel attracted to, in tune with but all evidence so far points to the contrary.
A challenge for all men in the world - to stop being lust driven, emotionally retarded, hunter-gatherer cavemen and actually compile a decent moral code for themselves. Treat women with respect and show sincere interest. Not just in whether you can eventually have her in bed, but whether you can meet on a friendly level and remain happy with that. Not all relationships have to end in bed, I'm sure.
Parts of me feel resolved, while other parts remain so confused. I am an emotionally driven being, sensitive and easy to hurt. I think perhaps this is why I now keep an emotional distance from men, they have hurt me so much in the past. As long as I remain sexually attractive to them, they can at least show their honesty with voracious lust and we all have the reassurance of knowing where we stand.
Perhaps I feel there is nothing else in me to offer that could be attractive.
I hate insincerity and lies. I wish the world honesty, to themselves and others.
xxx
My vibrator,
