Self sacrifice

I slide to my knees, between your legs. You tear your eyes away from what you are doing to look down at me. My eyes are pleading with you, burning with need. Please. Please let me. Please may I feel you. Please may I taste you. Please?

Need to have your hot, pulsing length in my mouth, to take you there and swirl my tongue around you. I’d do anything to pleasure you this way. What will you make me do in order to have the privilege of tasting you there?

You already know I would do most anything for you. Take the challenge of setting me something... will you put me in pain for you? Make me suffer in frustration for so long? Make me beg, nakedly, on my knees, out loud, make me tell you what you are to me, how much I want you, what you do to me?

Grab me by the hair and drag me violently to where you want me. Roughly shove my mouth upon you and rape my throat with your thrusting cock – I so want it.

My clit aching, throbbing, screaming out to  be sated but at the same time loving that you leave it unattended, your pleasure coming first, all I can do is writhe and enjoy vicariously your sensual pleasure.

Give me all your sadistic evil, laugh at my suffering for you, my desire. Make me feel like the little girl i am in front of you, nothing, nothing but a naked little whore to be used and filled and fucked and abused.

Tie me tightly so the binding digs deep into my flesh and leaves those marks that last for days... bruise me and welt me. Slap me so the sting emblazons not only across flesh but across my mind, wiping it, some catharsis from your abuse.

Grip me by the neck as you steal my breath away, into you, suck out my life and take it for yourself. Squeeze harder as you look into my eyes, flitting between complete trust in you to those nuances of panic.... what if... too far... will he....

Can’t breathe, but trust you. Want your pleasure more than air.

Dig your nails deeply into my porcelain soft easily bruised flesh. Scratch me and make me wince then cry out for you. Feel that you can show me mercy, or make me bleed as you wish.

Make me hurt for you. Please. Make the hurt real, that I feel in my heart when you’re not touching me. I want you so much. Please just touch me, I don’t care if I have to hurt for it.

Please take my body and use it, enter me where you will, with what you will. Fuck me hard all night then again all day. Take me whenever, however you want.

Use me then toss me aside like a used disposable toy. Fling me down and uncaringly rape me like a fuck doll. Treat me as your personal whore.

My body is yours, take it.

Please, just let me touch you. Make me please you. Take me.

A Weekend in Wonderland

Once again I have been lucky enough to enjoy an entirely decadent weekend, while my gorgeous man took care of the little one. Daddy and mini-me went out mid morning Saturday, leaving me to get on with the arduous task of bathing, preening, polishing and pampering myself in readiness for Kitty, and the afternoon and evening's planned adventures.

Mike came over at 1pm as previously arranged and helped tidy the place, well a girl can't be breaking a nail doing the housework! Not when she must be looking her best for her sex kitten.


I was excited to meet up with Kitty again, despite the fact there has only been a maximum of a week between physical contact. I do tend to pine from the day after seeing her though! Entirely addicted. *sigh*


We met up with Kitty and her man in a lovely traditional English themed pub near to the cinema and enjoyed quiet chat and drinks. Kitty and I could barely keep our hands from each other, even in such a public and busy setting!

Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland was lovely, humorous, gothic, eccentric, fun and with a wardrobe I would love to own. Mike had chores to complete so left us at this juncture. Kitty, her man and I visited the restaurant next door afterwards, as I, for one, was sure I would need the fuel for the long evening ahead. I couldn't wait.


After a teasing 2 hour cinema trip where we were prevented from much more than hand holding and innuendo, then a meal, we were all but racing back to her home in order to fully enjoy one another.

Who better to provide the backdrop to our raunchy erotic liaison than P!nk? Her latest Funhouse DVD is amazing and I must watch it at every opportunity... Kitten and I both have a penchant for her strong, assertive, independent attitude. Also helps that she is smoking HOT of course!




Without restraint we were able to indulge in each other, with the addition of delicious ice cream, chocolates and sparkling wine. Kitty had sweetly had a t-shirt printed especially for the occasion, identifying her as 'Cara's Plaything'! She is cuteness personified. Fun and arousal intensified as the hours flew past and the clothes disappeared even more rapidly.


She is so beautiful. Her body is perfect. Just running my hands over her, even while she is clothed, makes me want to strip her naked then and there and have her completely, for hours.


We eventually moved from the lounge to her bedroom and the comfort of her bed. I had brought a new strap on harness and dildo to try out and some of the pina colada lube from the mixed box of ten sachets I'd received recently and she had a toy box already filled with wonderful novelties and sex toys.


We absolutely devoured each other, in all ways. Tongues and teeth toying with nipples, hands stroking and manipulating, fingers probing and delving, arse squeezing, body licking, nipple rubbing, frottage and tribbing.


The pina colada lube was sweet and tasted rather strongly of coconut, whereas I prefer the taste of kitten! I was pleased to 'have' to lick it all out of the way so that I could delve my tongue into her time and time again, flicking over her hard clit until she shuddered and exploded in her climax.


After mutual oral fun we decided to try out the fun looking new Vac U Lock harness and G-Spot dildo attachment I'd bought.


Turns out Kitty is a secret strap-on Queen, fucking me to ecstasy and keeping me on the brink of climax for seemingly hours before eventually we collapsed in our shared climaxes, hot, wet, sticky, exhausted and satisfied.


Finally we crawled under the sheets and held each other, talking until we fell asleep from sheer exhaustion at around 4am. A perfect end to the perfect Saturday.


I woke with a feeling of resentment that it wasn't still the night before... time with her always goes so fast. Sunday. Day of rest. Surely it would be ok to stay in bed? We cuddled but I knew I had responsibilities to return to and she had her partner and work to attend to.


Also, I had the very real worry that if I didn't make an early start from escaping the sheets, I may be trapped in the base musky mix of love juice and lubricant forever. A shower was definitely in order.


Quick nose, forehead and nipple kisses and we separated to wash, make breakfasts, meet our partners, try and get back to reality. A sadness in coming back to normality and down from the erotic highs of our passionate liaisons but also pleasure in meeting and cuddling our men again.


When we eventually left kitten's home at 4pm, I had to literally be towed away!


Sunday evening was spent with a deep feeling of contentment as the erotic and sensual memories kept washing over me, serving up new remnants of the night before each time.


My man and I took delight in relaxing with a lovely bottle of chilled white and catching up with each other. Some comfort food, a music DVD and laying in his arms made for a romantic early evening.


Later on, I was delighted when he intimated that he wanted to have some more fun.

We started with the luxurious warmth of our Blackcurrant JimmyJane candle and as the slippery softness was massaged all over my back I could feel my wetness already eager for him.


His hands are so big and strong, working out any kinks and knots in my back, smoothing the silky oil deep into my muscles and down to my lower back. Over my womanly curves, hips and bum and fingers delving inbetween...


Too fast, I had to slow down... take it easy.. I got him to turn over and I massaged him fully, not easy as my hands always hurt. His back is so wide and his bum is so hard, my wrists feel like they will snap if I try and manipulate the knots out of his rugged muscles!


I ended up massaging him in the best way. Him on his back, my hands readying another suddenly hard part of him and using the oil as a lubricant. We do not use condoms so the natural ingredients contained in the JimmyJane oil was fine for us to intimately share.

The time came for me to replace my hands around his straining, throbbing hardness; in time, so did we. A perfect dance of partners joined in the rhythm of love, moving synonomously with that mental connection you only have with your other half, knowing how hard, how fast, where to press, how to gyrate... when they are close to exploding in that blinding dizzying flash of nerve endings and complete body shuddering orgasms...


We fell asleep with me on his chest, both naked, both once again exhausted and satisfied in equal measure.



I could really get used to waking up sticky and content!

What makes a man attractive?

I have pondered this question for a while now. Being 90% lesbian and 10% straight, I have for a long time thought I was bisexual. I think I find about 4 or 5 men in the entire world in any way remotely sexually attractive to me, but being a woman I of course preen, giggle and flirt along with the best of them.

My gorgeous, wonderful and let's face it - long suffering man is a revelation; kind, compassionate, unselfish. Perhaps not beautiful or handsome in the classic or media induced stereotypical way but he does have a rough manly exterior that belies the softness contained within his heart.

Will do anything for an audience, loves to please and entertain. Kind to a fault but will not take any mistreatment of either his family or himself. Not vain or pretentious. A hard worker and takes pride in setting himself goals in both his work and private life and having the ambition and courage to acheive them.

I have considered that he may be attractive to me merely as the father of my child; but in fact the truth is that I love him completely. For him, as a person, not his muscles (which are scrumptious ;) ), his six-pack, his Jason Statham looks or any rough, brutal, cave-man fun and games. Just the fact that he is the man I love. Him as a person.

Maybe I cannot be attracted to men without knowing of their personality and morality. Having been treated fairly harshly by the men in my life, family and sexual partners, I have been left with a deep mistrust of men and also an inability to believe there is such a thing as platonic friendship. They always seem to be out for more. Any friendly chat or inquiry into my life leaves me distinctly cold and feeling they want more from it, sexual satisfaction being their sole aim.

Perhaps this explains my slightly perverted attraction towards gay men. The ultimate safety. A man who will not pursue me into bed, but will instead only show interest and friendliness out of a sincere regard for me as a person. Someone with courage enough to be 'out' in a world which still shows insensitive attitudes towards homosexuality, for all its determined claims that we are all equal now. Perhaps some still are 'more equal than others', after all.

And so my life brings me to this conclusion: I feel more at ease in women's company if somewhat nervous that they will be able to hurt me if I put trust in them. An emotional hurt. I have been through the emotional pain with men (as well as physical, bearing the scars) and now have given my soul entirely to my man.

I feel free to lust after lesbian imagery, dreams, the emotional bond... feeling that this is where any future fantasy will now lie. Perhaps there are other men out there that I could feel attracted to, in tune with but all evidence so far points to the contrary.

A challenge for all men in the world - to stop being lust driven, emotionally retarded, hunter-gatherer cavemen and actually compile a decent moral code for themselves. Treat women with respect and show sincere interest. Not just in whether you can eventually have her in bed, but whether you can meet on a friendly level and remain happy with that. Not all relationships have to end in bed, I'm sure.

Parts of me feel resolved, while other parts remain so confused. I am an emotionally driven being, sensitive and easy to hurt. I think perhaps this is why I now keep an emotional distance from men, they have hurt me so much in the past. As long as I remain sexually attractive to them, they can at least show their honesty with voracious lust and we all have the reassurance of knowing where we stand.

Perhaps I feel there is nothing else in me to offer that could be attractive.

I hate insincerity and lies. I wish the world honesty, to themselves and others.

xxx